Peanut Butter, Pickles, and Watermelons?
by StupidMajor
Summary: The long awaited sequal to Night Talks Can be read alone. Jack thought it was bad last time.


**Peanut Butter, Pickles, and Watermelons?**

It was a routine mission. Take some samples, let Danny Boy play with his rocks, look at the trees; the usual. But right now, the only thing Jack O'Neill wanted to do was sleep.

After making sure Daniel would last his watch, he slipped in his sleeping bag for, hopefully, a couple hours of sleep. Closing his eyes, he waited for sleep to overtake him.

"Jack?" Jack lifted his head and turned it towards his 2IC.

"Yea Carter?"

"We need pickles."

"Pickles?" He looked at Daniel who shrugged. "Why do we need pickles."

"You cant have a peanut butter and pickle sandwich without the pickles." Carter sniffed and turned over; she was sound asleep.

"I need a watermelon… mmmm. And Bananas, a whole bunch of bananas."

"Sleep talking, great." Jack groaned and Daniel laughed. Teal'c, who had been meditating, joined the group.

"What is wrong O'Neill?"

"Seems like Carter here is talking in her sleep."

Carter seemed to sense Teal'c and started talking again, "Hey Teal'c can you go get me the pickles? And some Jello?"

"It seems like she is making lunch O'Neill." Jack sighed and turned to Carter. After a few minutes, there was no sound. He sighed in relief and settled down in his sleeping bag. He was about to fall asleep when….

"Shit!"

Jack shot up at her anguished cry. "What's wrong?"

"I dropped the pickle jar!"

"Damn it!" Jack cried and layed down with a thump and curled into a little ball…his sleeping bag covering his head.

"Jack what are you doing?" Daniel asked.

"Trying not to hear."

Daniel rolled his eyes and whispered to Teal'c, "Yea that's so going to work."

"Mmm yeah." Her tone of voice had completely changed. It was now flirtatious, almost seductive.

Jack peeked out of his sleeping back and watched her. "Oh yes, do that again."

Daniel and Teal'c turned their attention towards Sam. "Is she?" Daniel asked.

"Sleep talking? Yes. About what? I have no clue." Jack answered.

"Wow, I didn't know you could do what with your tongue."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"So handsome when you're naked."

Daniel shook his head in amusement. This was getting funny.

"No don't stop, feels so good."

Jack rolled his eyes and crawled over to Sam. "Jack don't." Daniel protested but he ignored the archeologist. "Carter wake up," he nudged her shoulder. When she didn't stir he nudged her a little harder. "Sam wake up."

Sam's eyes open and she slowly sat up, "Mm wa?"

"You were talking in your sleep."

"I was?"

"Yep," Daniel answered. "You were making peanut butter and pickle sandwiches and some other foods. Then it turned seductive."

Sam rolled her eyes and layed back down, "Cant help it if I'm craving peanut butter and pickles. Baby's fault." She mumbled.

Daniel eyes widened and turned to Jack, "Baby!?"

"Shit! Sam!"

Sam sat up and glared at him, "What now!"

"You told him!"

"Told him what?"

"That you were pregnant."

Sam's eyes widened, "Shit."

"How long?" Daniel asked.

"Three months," Jack mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Damn it Jack, why didn't you tell us!" Daniel yelled.

"Because we were waiting!"

Daniel got up and stormed over to Jack. Jack closed his eyes waiting for impact.

"Colonel? Sir? Sir wake up." Jack slowly opened his eyes to come face to face with Sam.

"Carter?"

"Sir you were talking in you sleep." Jack looked around and found that indeed he must have been talking in his sleep. Daniel was sleeping and Teal'c was meditating.

"So no baby?"

Carter shook her head and laughed, "No sir."

Jack groaned and looked at his watch, "Go to bed Carter, I'll take over."

Carter smiled and nodded, "Thanks sir." Jack mumbled and got out of his sleeping bag. Jack went through the regular checks of a night watchman. Having finished his patrols, he sat down near the campfire and poured himself a cup of coffee.

Within moments of climbing into her sleeping bag, Carter was out.

Sighing, he leaned against a log and waited for the sun to rise. Daniel was snoring, Teal'c was Kelno'reem-ing, and Carter was out cold….

"Jack?"

"Hmm?"

"Where's the pickles?"

"Damn it!"


End file.
